I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
