What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize