Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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