I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
