and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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