I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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