I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
