Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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