i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize