tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
