If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
