A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
