woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize