Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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