haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
