My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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