nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
