so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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