I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
