Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
