Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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