I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
