this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
