Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
