so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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