no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
you never un-have a 4some
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
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