My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
