Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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