Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
