I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
