Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
