Im at strip club and am horny
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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