there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
