It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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