I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
