I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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