I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
