I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
