New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
