There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
