meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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