i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
