They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
