Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
