no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
