so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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