did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
