I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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