Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
