You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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