Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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