You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
