I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
