I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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