dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize