i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize