how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
