What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize