It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
