She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
