I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
