seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
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