Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
40s are totally the cure
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
