You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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