Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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